Conflict with co-workers is rife with stress and is counterproductive for everyone involved. When dealing with a contentious colleague, use the divine.ca step-by-step method to defuse workplace tensions and turn your office into an employee-friendly environment.

Step 1: Identify the conflict
What is the issue? Do both you and a co-worker want the same week off for vacation but only one of you can have it? Or is it something more serious such as a colleague who is constantly taking credit for your work? Once you’ve identified the problem, decide whether you want to confront the person who is bothering you.

Step 2: Talk it out using CPR
Calm, Polite and Rational. These are the three musts to keep in mind and employ when talking to the other person about the conflict. Focus on the situation and facts and keep gossip and personal attacks out of the conversation. Be conscious of how you are expressing yourself. Your posture, facial expression and tone should be assertive but not aggressive particularly because you are trying to resolve the conflict rather than exacerbate it.

Step 3: Listen as much as you speak
When you’ve voiced your opinion, it’s your turn to listen. Take in everything that the other person is saying. What is she saying she wants? Do your best to understand her position. Express interest in what the other person is saying and acknowledge her ideas. Saying something along the lines of, "I understand where you’re coming from. Here's how I feel..." shows that you are mature enough to see that there are two sides to the debate.

Step 4: Recommend positive solutions
Be clear about what you want and then communicate it. Offer positive suggestions and recommendations. Most of all, be flexible and willing to compromise.

Step 5: Go to the higher ups
If a problem with a difficult co-worker persists and begins to seriously threaten your productivity, it is within your workplace rights to speak up about it. Getting your direct supervisor or HR involved should be a last resort if the above steps did not work. Be sure to avoid whining and remember to always employ CPR!