Right Person Wrong Time
by Kelly Jones: Click by Lavalife
published April 14, 2006
rating: (66 Ratings)
Timing is everything, even in romance. From falling in love with a coworker to being on the rebound, from relocating for work to having the hots for an already-taken hottie, we hardly ever meet the Right Person at the Right Time. So turn fate in your favour, avoid settling for someone who is almost perfect, and hook up with Mr. or Ms. Right at any time.
Boing Boing Rebound
Coming out of an intense relationship sets emotions on overdrive. Proceed with extreme caution as you come to terms with the separation and lifestyle change. Anger, sadness, loneliness, relief and elation are all normal feelings, but none of them makes a good starting point for nurturing new love. If Ms. Right is indeed The One, she'll know it's best to wait until you're ready, so don't rush into anything your heart can't handle. If you're gaga for a recent dumpee, put a magnifying glass to your romantic urges and determine whether it's his vulnerability that attracts you or something more meaningful. As singles we're often subconsciously tickled by the opportunity to protect someone in need.
Go the Distance
The expression "In the right place at the right time" has an evil cousin. Whether you're about to go back to school, transfer branches for your job, or enter another new stage of life that takes you away from home, meeting a romance-worthy single just before departure is frustrating, to say the least. But before assuming that all hope is lost, assess your options. The long-distance relationship may not be as nasty as you fear. In fact, many couples enjoy the independence and find they treasure each other more when together. An honest discussion is essential to determine the realistic long-term possibilities. On the opposite end of the healthy-dating spectrum, embarking on a relationship with someone from your new city the minute you arrive can be disastrous. Be certain the cause of your attraction is sincere appeal and not a craving for companionship.
Three's a Crowd
Falling in love with someone while involved in another relationship may sound to some like heaven, but it often causes more heartache than getting no love at all. There is no excuse for leading on two romantic interests simultaneously -- make a timely choice or you're bound to lose both. If you decide on the new fling, assure her that you're not the type to hop, skip and jump from one embrace to the next, as there will likely be some insecurity about your behaviour patterns. Similarly, if you've suddenly become The Other Man but she claims to feel head-over-heels about you too, demand she take action and cut things short with The Boyfriend to avoid any festering of anxieties. It's reasonable to wait for someone a short while, but there must be a limit.
All Work and No Play…
You must be a risk-taker at heart to pursue an office romance. Even if your jobs don't officially overlap, so many things can go wrong. There's gossip and teasing to think about, not to mention the awkwardness that follows a break-up. Eight hours a day, five days a week, is a long time to spend with an ex. It gets even more complicated when working together in some form of hierarchy. The assumptions will be made that someone is being taken advantage of no matter how balanced the relationship feels. The truth is that the best way to pursue love in this situation is for one person to find work elsewhere. It's a big sacrifice, however, so weigh the possible outcomes carefully.
Not Now, Honey, I'm Still Swinging
It happens all the time with people in love. He's looking to finally settle down but she's just begun to discover the world; she's aching to have babies but he's not ready for responsibility. In both cases, each knows the other person is their perfect life mate -- just not right now. It's not impossible for two people to synchronize their timelines; but there are risks, the biggest of these being that one person will later feel resentment about the experiences they gave up on to pursue love. If there's no chance of coming together down the road when both are ready to commit, acknowledge the love-sick situation and come up with a plan that includes compromise on both parts.
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