We all know the old adage, “love is blind”. But before falling head over heels in love, take a closer look at the object of your affection. Is the feeling—as strong as it is—completely mutual? Save yourself a lot of unnecessary pain and check out our list of warning signs that he’s just not that keen on you.
1. He never calls you first.
Sure he calls, but it’s always to return your call. Running after someone can become an obsession—a disappointing one. Is he playing hard to get or just not that into you? Here’s how to find out: don’t call him for a few days. If he calls you, great. If he doesn’t, move on.
2. He won’t plan ahead.
You invite him to a hot party next month, and he hesitates before giving you his answer. Maybe he’s waiting to see if something better comes up—a sign he’s not ecstatic about going. If his final answer is “yes”, then rejoice: all may not be lost. But if it’s “no”, and it’s his second refusal, cut back on the invitations and rethink the relationship.
3. He won’t come up for a nightcap.
You’re both coming back from a party, he’s driving you home, and you ask him if he’d like to come up for a drink. A classic move, with a classic response: “yes”. But if he surprises you by refusing your invitation because he has to get up early to take his cat out for a walk, start asking yourself some questions. If it happens more than once, it should be clear that you’re just not clicking.
4. He’s vague about getting together again.
At the end of your date, he suggests keeping in touch—and nothing more specific. It may not be the end of the world, but if he really wants to see you again, he’ll make the time. Maybe you’ve just started dating and he fears putting too much pressure on you; or it could be he’s not so sure he wants to see you again next week. You’ll have the answer soon enough if he doesn’t call in the days to come, or if he turns you down the next time you call to ask him out.
5. He doesn’t ask you questions.
How can someone be interested in you if they don’t want to know what your interests are—or even how you are, or how your day went? If he rarely ever asks you about your day or what you did last night, it’s probably because he just doesn’t care. It’s hurtful when the person you’re attracted to doesn’t show much interest in your life, but better to realize it as soon as possible and move on.
6. He doesn’t call when he says he will.
He says he’ll call at seven, but your phone only rings at nine—or even worse, the next day. When you do talk, he gives you lame excuses for calling so late. You may be telling yourself he’s probably too busy to call when he said he would, but why make excuses for him? If he’s interested in you, he’d be thinking of you, which usually leads to calling when he said he would. But try to keep an open mind, too; sometimes there’s a legitimate reason for not calling. Trust your instinct!
7. He hasn’t introduced you to his family.
It’s true that presenting someone you’ve started seeing to your family is a big step. It’s also true that some people need more time before they’re ready to bring you home for dinner—if ever. But if he’s already met your folks and you haven’t met his, he may not be ready to make your relationship official. If you feel he should introduce you to the other people in his life, then sit down and discuss your feelings with him.
8. His friends don’t know you exist.
Introducing you to his family is a big leap forward, and it usually comes after a long period of getting to know each other. However, there’s no reason why he shouldn’t introduce you to his buddies—nowhere near as formal and stressful as presenting you to his parents. If it’s going well, then he’s probably told them about you, or even included you in plans with them. If he’s trying to hide your relationship, ask him why. His response should make it clear what’s going on—or not.