5 things keeping you from finding love
The dating world is a hard one to navigate (attest, single ladies!). Online dating sites, even more treacherous. If you feel your efforts this past year have been less than successful, we’ve got five changes you need to make to ensure you start getting dates in 2011!
Constantly updating your profile. This may sound familiar: you spend hours on your perfect profile, see that it gets no response after a day, so you tweak it again. And again. And again… We all want to sound awesome, but if you start putting too much effort into writing a profile it will start to read less and less genuine and on-the-fly. So write your profile, edit it for length and spelling errors, and just leave it. Give it a proper chance to impress a few gents before you decide to re-write it.
Being afraid to post what you really want. Let’s say you are looking for a man who’s educated, yet are too shy to write “Must at least have a Bachelor’s degree” for fear of coming off as a snob or offending men with only high school degrees. Remember: this is your profile; politeness and general courtesy matter, of course, but if you’re someone who truly values education and feel it is an important trait for a potential partner to have, don’t leave it out. (Trust us: it’ll only get more awkward when you have to admit it once communication with a guy has begun.) Besides, it’s not as if you’re stating something materialistic like “Must earn at least $100,000 per year”…
Waiting for guys to make the first move. The moment you create an online dating profile, know that to truly succeed, you have to be an active participant. If you just sit back and wait for guys to contact you, you won’t get much action (figuratively and, ahem, literally). So take initiative and send out messages to guys whose profiles pique your interest. Sure, you may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but for every message you send, you’re sure to get one back!
Always thinking you can do better. Let’s face it, ladies: we’ve all at least once stumbled upon a cute guy with a funny profile but moved on to the next one, thinking “I can do better.” (Which leads to moving on to the next guy, and the next, and the next...) Try a new tactic this year: if a guy sends you a message and his profile looks interesting, let some back-and-forth emailing or at most, a first date, be your deciding factor. Of course, if you don’t find a certain man attractive or his profile truly doesn’t interest you, then that’s a deal breaker.
Delaying a meet-up. So you’ve chatted with a nice guy for a few days, and he suggested a coffee date. If you feel you haven’t made quite a connection yet or would like to continue emailing for awhile, that’s your right. (Admittedly, it does seem as if some guys want to meet or get your phone number from to get-go!) However, if you’re simply avoiding a face-to-face meeting for fear he won’t like what he sees or that you won’t click as well in person as you do online, it’s all about taking a risk and going for it. Otherwise, if you keep putting off a date, that potential Mr. Right may think you aren’t serious and move on.
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